Julia Roberts Gets A Real Job

Julia Roberts has become the spokeswoman and chair of Dallas-based Earth Biofuels' advisory board.

"It's very important that we expand our use of clean energy and make a long-term commitment to it. Biodiesel and ethanol are better for the environment and for the air we breathe," -AP

After making this announcement Roberts drove by limo to her private boat, so she could get to her private jet. All of which, of course, runs on fairy dust.

Haley Joel Osment Is Also A Great Driver

Haley Joel Osment is in good condition after crashing his '95 Saturn into a cemented mailbox, early Thursday morning.

I'm not going to make fun of his '95 Saturn, and I'm not going to make an "I see dead people, but not mailboxes" joke.
However, I am going to mention that even though Osment is 18 & wrecked into a mailbox, he's still a better driver than Daniel Baldwin.

Announcing Suri Cruise

'King of Queens' star Leah Remini claims she held Suri Cruise over the weekend, and Suri looks just like Tom & Katie.
Well 'Celebutards Gone Wild' is proud to announce Remini isn't the only one to see the newborn this weekend. Introducing the first ever photo of Suri Cruise!

Suri looks like a 50 year old L. Ron Hubbard? Why is her face in black and white?

Who died and made you Sherlock Holmes?
This photo is 100% real, no half-assed Photoshop jokes here.
...None at all.

Daniel Baldwin is a Great Driver

Actor Daniel Baldwin was detained Wednesday for questioning after wrecking into 2 parked cars going 80 mph on a suspended license.

Baldwin refused to cooperate with a police officer, who drew his gun to get the actor to comply, Officer Jason Lee, a police spokesman, said.

"The officer had advised him many times that he should get on the floor and not move and he would not listen so the officer took out his gun and pointed (it) at him and asked him to stop moving," witness Nina Sharafi told KCBS-TV.

Doesn't Daniel Baldwin know America has a new Celebutard Autoban? It's called the state of Arkansas. If you're going to endanger lives with the excellent driving skills you picked up on the set of "Car 54, Where are you?" you're suppose to do it there.
I mean he's not as attractive or even as talented as Keith Richards, but he's still famous... kind of.

Nicole Richie is Fat

Reality TV star Nicole Richie reportedly collapsed Saturday while shopping at Kitson in LA.

“She was looking through a rack of clothes when she suddenly fainted and hit the floor,” an “eyewitness” told the mag. “The staff helped her to a chair and offered her something to eat. She shot back, ‘No!’ and mumbled something about it being ‘so hot.’” -MSNBC.com

Now I know what you're thinking.
Is it right to make fun of someone with an "eating disorder"?

So I went out and asked some starving children what they thought and here is what they said; "What's an eating disorder? Please feed me..."

I'll take that as a resounding YES! In your face Richie you fattie, fat, fat, fat.

July's Celebutard of the Month

Gov. Mike Huckabee announced recently that his state of Arkansas is prepared to pardon Rolling Stone's musician Keith Richards for reckless driving charges from a routine traffic stop back in 1975.

"The governor said he got the idea for a pardon when he realized that Richards' impression of Arkansas "was marred by a misdemeanor traffic stop." - AP

Richards probably can't remember what he did yesterday, let alone more than a quarter of a century ago.

It must make the residents of Arkansas proud to know their fearless leader is more concerned about the opinions of a 100 year old guitarist, than addressing the fact that his state ranks last on pretty much everything from economics to education.

That is why I'm awarding "Honorable" Mike Huckabee with the first ever Celebutard of the month award.
Hooray for Huckabee!

John Cusack Doesn't Like Crazies

Actor John Cusack has won a temporary restraining order against a crazy fan who he claims has been stalking him for almost 2 years.

"In court papers filed last month, Cusack said the 31-year-old woman "is showing unusual interest by stalking, throwing long letters of interest over my fence in bags with rocks and screwdrivers inside, making unannounced visits to offices of people I work with in an attempt to meet with me and listing my address as her own during a recent arrest." -AP

The woman had also used the actor's home address as her own, and threatened to harm herself if Cusack did not "help her".

Even though she's insane, John Cusack should be thrilled to find out that he actually has a fan.
I mean, I'm glad he's safe, but seriously John Cusack? WTF?

Anderson to Marry Kid Rock

Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock announced their plans to marry next week on a yacht somewhere in France.

"Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp," said the "Baywatch" bombshell in her cryptic diary entry. "Not able to let go of MY family picture ... it's been sad and lonely and frustrating ... I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle.
"Well my miracle came and went. And came back and back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing." -AP

A hopeless romantic that Anderson. Just to prove it, she went on to say she still loves Tommy Lee ... and oh yah, Kid Rock too.

After the announcement the couple drove around to local KFC's threatening to brutally murder any SOB that dared to buy a chicken sandwich.
'Cause that's what P.E.T.A does, they murder humans.

Or so I hear... and by hear I mean made up.

Oprah, Still Not Gay

Oprah & her best friend Gayle King wanted to make it clear that they are in fact - not gay.

"I understand why people think we're gay," she says. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it — how can you be this close without it being sexual?" -O Magazine

Well I'm glad Oprah has set the record "straight" on this one. Now anyone who gave a shit can relax and contemplate the real question; "What does this mean for me?"
So we can pretend this worthless bit of information means something for the time we've spent having to read about it.

Aniston Wants a 'Friends' Reunion

Recently Jennifer Aniston expressed to the AP her desire to revive the defunct series 'Friends'.

'The only thing I can think of doing is maybe for fun doing a Thanksgiving episode,'' Aniston said in a TV interview that was set to air Monday on Britain's Channel Four. ``Our Thanksgiving episodes were really fun.'' - MiamiHerald.com

Yah they were really fun, because I didn't watch them. 'Friends' was overrated then, and would be painfully unentertaining now.
I know Aniston is currently struggling, trying to prove to herself she's not a failure.
With this I'm saddened to announce that my magic 8-Ball has predicted her future marriage to Vince Vaughn to be short lived. Then I read tea leaves this morning and they predicted 2 years max.
I wasn't sure about the 8-Ball, but the tea leaves... those are always 100% correct.

Michael Jackson Kind of Loses In Court

A Santa Monica jury delivered the verdict in the Michael Jackson civil suit on Friday. The plaintiff F. Marc Schaffel was awarded $900,000 after paying Jackson's small counter claim.

"A Santa Monica jury on Friday awarded $900,000 to the former gay porn producer who sued Jackson in 2004 for unpaid royalties, loans and expenses he claimed were owed him from various projects the two collaborated on several years ago." - E! Online

Schaffel also claims he went to Africa on Jackson's behalf to adopt young boys.

Is Jackson involved in kiddie porn?
Something about the fact he's been accused of child molestation like 23 times now and works on "projects" with a gay porn producer who he sent to AFRICA to adopt young boys, sends up red flags.

Now that this is over Jackson can return to his full time job as the boogy man.
It's been suggested that everyone look under their kids beds before going to sleep tonight.

Richards Still Doesn't Like Sheen

Denise Richards has been granted an extension on her restraining order against estranged husband, Charlie "snorts cocaine off the asses of hookers" Sheen. Sheen has been ordered to stay at least 300 ft away from his wife and 2 daughters.

Sheen and Richards should be set up on a blind date while some reality show tapes it. So when fighting ensues everyone can laugh at them for being pathetic disgraces to humanity.

CGW Welcomes You

Welcome to Celebutards Gone Wild! A site dedicated to bringing you hot celeb-u-tard action 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (sort of).

Our mission is simple, we watch celebrities and then report what we see.
After that we'll make fun of them, because that's the way we roll.